I never thought I would get to this place.

This place is questioning. This place of...deconstruction.

I was raised in the church. I have been a believer all my life, I was baptized when I was 16, I re-surrendered my life to Christ at 21. I ran hard and fast after The Lord and never looked back.

I refuse to be silent.

I will be that Christian.

There is a long history of hatred, live burning, drowning, and torture of the LGBTQ+ community in the name of Jesus. In other words, the LGBTQ+ community has been (and continues to be) lynched by those who are supposed to be a light of love in this world.

Sound backward and absolutely disgusting to you? It should.

Anti-racism starts at home.

Let me repeat that: anti-racism starts at home.

Anti-racist education must be a part of the discipleship of our children. The world changers we are raising must be a part of the dismantling of white supremacy.

Okay, so you either feel excited to read this post, or you’re feeling like, “Oh, look. There’s that word ‘calling’ again. Yippee.,” in the most sarcastic tone in your head.

I used to be the latter. For various reasons.

As a child, I dealt with feelings of worthlessness and purposelessness. Due to varying degrees of trauma, I wrestled with feeling worthy of life at all, let alone a calling to fulfill. I struggled with knowing what it was I wanted to do with my life, what I was even good at or gifted in, and whether or not the things I wanted were the things that God wanted for me.

I used to get really frustrated when I heard (or read) the phrase, “do not be afraid,” in the Bible.

It just felt so….impossible.

We’ve all felt afraid before. We’ve all been in minor situations that are fearful, like that giant spider in your kitchen (sorry for the visual), and we’ve all been in major situations that are fearful, like a scary diagnosis, job loss, or other uncertainties.