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TRENDING
Every week there seems to be a new conversation circulating the internet. And while this week is no different, the recent conversation around society’s resurgent obsession with thinness has been ongoing for several months. From prominent athletes promoting GLP-1s, to Hollywood celebrities becoming alarmingly thin overnight, to an entire subculture of TikTok known as “skinnyTok,” it is clear we have done a complete 180 from the body positive movement of the 2010s.
Every week there seems to be a new conversation circulating the internet. And while this week is no different, the recent conversation around society’s resurgent obsession with thinness has been ongoing for several months. From prominent athletes promoting GLP-1s, to Hollywood celebrities becoming alarmingly thin overnight, to an entire subculture of TikTok known as “skinnyTok,” it is clear we have done a complete 180 from the body positive movement of the 2010s.
Our society’s desperation to keep whiteness and white people in power has not come without a grave cost to everyone who inhabits this society. That means you. And that means me. It is because of white supremacy that we have built a society that refuses more help to its citizens than any other developed nation in this world. It is because of white supremacy that we have withheld the human rights to safety, security, education, health care, public resources, child care, and more. It is white supremacy that wrote the very American narrative that even your most basic human rights must be deserved and earned.
Each of these characteristics can be traced back to the foundations and development of white supremacy to the society and culture we live in today. These traits have emerged from the development of white supremacy. They are the result of it.
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Advocacy & Self-Worth
There is something I must admit.
Something that has been weighing on my heart.
Something that I…fear I may have passed on to my daughter. Something negative. Like, maybe I’m not breaking generational patterns after all. And I’m fearful that it’s too late to rectify this.
While Minneapolis isn’t the first place federal agents have been deployed in ways that racially target communities, the murder of Renee Nicole Good — a 37-year-old mother of three killed by a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent during a federal immigration operation — was one of the first widely seen eyewitness accounts of how the militarization of our federal government to uphold systems of power and white supremacy has officially harmed someone who is white.
What we witnessed on Wednesday was tragic, infuriating, and confirmation of every warning Black and brown people have been issuing for generations.
I’m coming straight out of the gate with some honesty for you today—every time a global crisis gains immediate urgent attention on social media, we enter into an unnecessary activism-Olympics that does nothing but fuel white supremacy culture’s goal of exhaustion, division, and never-enough-ism. The literal system of oppression that is the enemy wins every single time someone exerts more energy into finger-pointing someone else’s activism rather than focusing on collective and community service, care, and healing. I’m not saying there’s never a time for accountability when someone is actively causing harm that can’t be ignored. But more often than not, that’s not what I’m seeing. What I see are people hiding behind screens, quick to pounce on others in a rush to boost their own moral high ground, all while avoiding any real reflection on themselves.
Today is my 35th birthday.
I think it’s finally safe to say that I’ve entered my mid-thirties. Or, perhaps I’ve been in my mid-thirties for a year now and now I’m in the middle of my mid thirties. That is still debatable.
The Olympics are a reminder that sports are the same in every language, and it is a language we all speak with fervor and felicity. The Olympics are a reminder that we are so much more alike than we are different, and that we are magical in all of the good that we do. The Olympics are a reminder that there is more than one way to pursue good, and sports can be one of those ways.
I often have to remind myself that Beyoncé is a regular human like me. She has arms and legs, fingers and toes, fears and worries, anxiety and peace, grief and joy — just like the rest of us. The genius of her work is proof that she is in a league all her own, not because she is some beyond-human species that is above the rest of us, but because she put herself there.
I always feel as though I am in the middle of a game of tug-of-war. Each of my arms is one side of the rope and my body plays the role of the middle. The pressure of consistency and my mixed feelings about the desire for success pull one side of me, and my humanity and limited capacity pull the other.
It’s okay to feel fear, anxiety, or overwhelm when participating in advocacy work of any kind. This is far from easy, which is why most people choose silence. Silence is comfortable. Silence is safe. Advocacy work is rarely comfortable. And, sometimes, advocacy work is not safe. There are real threats to this work that must be taken seriously, and protecting your mental well-being is crucial. You should never push yourself to the brink of burnout or sacrifice your mental state in your advocacy work. Breaks are key. Self-care is non-negotiable.
Our society’s desperation to keep whiteness and white people in power has not come without a grave cost to everyone who inhabits this society. That means you. And that means me. It is because of white supremacy that we have built a society that refuses more help to its citizens than any other developed nation in this world. It is because of white supremacy that we have withheld the human rights to safety, security, education, health care, public resources, child care, and more. It is white supremacy that wrote the very American narrative that even your most basic human rights must be deserved and earned.
This obsession with production and perfection seeps into every facet of our lives — from our education to our careers to our parenting. It is inescapable. If you are not incessantly trying to outperform your counterparts and yourself every day, society will shout at you from every angle about how much of a failure you are. Sitting down is out of the question. Rest is for the lazy and weak. There is always more to do, more to be, and more to chase. You are never enough in our society, and society reminds us of that every single day.
Now, I’m not saying that having goals, aspirations, and even a to-do list is destroying your self-worth and that we must get rid of it all. That would be ridiculous and a little extreme. I live by a good to-do list, otherwise, I would not remember whether I’m coming or going on a daily basis. The problem lies with our culture. Its historic roots in white supremacy created our modern-day human hierarchical culture that measures your worth based on your race, gender identity, class, ability, and participation in capitalism. This culture takes one look at your humanity and demonizes you for it.
It is okay to live in the tension of the both/and. It is okay to feel the heartache, the guilt, the desperation and recognize that ignoring your needs and your life is not what will save the lives of those who are fighting for theirs. Yes, it is so unfair that thousands of beautiful, innocent people can no longer live their lives as they were once able to, just as we are now. That truth also applies to many other similar circumstances that are unrelated to an unprecedented present-day massacre.
It is not a coincidence that we are a society of humans walking around in a worthiness-chasing daze. Our society has destroyed our self-worth, convinced us that it’s our fault we don’t feel worthy, and has brainwashed us into normalizing toxic traits and behaviors in order to “earn that worthiness.”
I’ve made it my life’s work to help each of us get that freedom back. One faith-filled act of resistance at a time.
Anti-racism starts at home.
Let me repeat that: anti-racism starts at home.
Anti-racist education must be a part of the discipleship of our children. The world changers we are raising must be a part of the dismantling of white supremacy.
![What Is Whiteness and Why Must We [All] Divest From It?](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/64af012a04ca7e2495abd34b/1689627121749-7QW75JNXVY5YBW3E8PFI/39.png)
WHITENESS: What It Is And Why We Must ALL Divest From It
“Be ashamed of being white?!”
“Stop being white?!”
“YOU guys are the racist ones!”
“You have Black History month!”
“I have Black friends and none of them believe this mess! Wake up!”
Whew. It’s a lot, huh?
FAITH & WELLNESS
I’m coming straight out of the gate with some honesty for you today—every time a global crisis gains immediate urgent attention on social media, we enter into an unnecessary activism-Olympics that does nothing but fuel white supremacy culture’s goal of exhaustion, division, and never-enough-ism. The literal system of oppression that is the enemy wins every single time someone exerts more energy into finger-pointing someone else’s activism rather than focusing on collective and community service, care, and healing. I’m not saying there’s never a time for accountability when someone is actively causing harm that can’t be ignored. But more often than not, that’s not what I’m seeing. What I see are people hiding behind screens, quick to pounce on others in a rush to boost their own moral high ground, all while avoiding any real reflection on themselves.
The Olympics are a reminder that sports are the same in every language, and it is a language we all speak with fervor and felicity. The Olympics are a reminder that we are so much more alike than we are different, and that we are magical in all of the good that we do. The Olympics are a reminder that there is more than one way to pursue good, and sports can be one of those ways.
It is okay to live in the tension of the both/and. It is okay to feel the heartache, the guilt, the desperation and recognize that ignoring your needs and your life is not what will save the lives of those who are fighting for theirs. Yes, it is so unfair that thousands of beautiful, innocent people can no longer live their lives as they were once able to, just as we are now. That truth also applies to many other similar circumstances that are unrelated to an unprecedented present-day massacre.
I never thought I would get to this place.
This place is questioning. This place of...deconstruction.
I was raised in the church. I have been a believer all my life, I was baptized when I was 16, I re-surrendered my life to Christ at 21. I ran hard and fast after The Lord and never looked back.
I refuse to be silent.
I will be that Christian.
There is a long history of hatred, live burning, drowning, and torture of the LGBTQ+ community in the name of Jesus. In other words, the LGBTQ+ community has been (and continues to be) lynched by those who are supposed to be a light of love in this world.
Sound backward and absolutely disgusting to you? It should.
Anti-racism starts at home.
Let me repeat that: anti-racism starts at home.
Anti-racist education must be a part of the discipleship of our children. The world changers we are raising must be a part of the dismantling of white supremacy.
Okay, so you either feel excited to read this post, or you’re feeling like, “Oh, look. There’s that word ‘calling’ again. Yippee.,” in the most sarcastic tone in your head.
I used to be the latter. For various reasons.
As a child, I dealt with feelings of worthlessness and purposelessness. Due to varying degrees of trauma, I wrestled with feeling worthy of life at all, let alone a calling to fulfill. I struggled with knowing what it was I wanted to do with my life, what I was even good at or gifted in, and whether or not the things I wanted were the things that God wanted for me.
I used to get really frustrated when I heard (or read) the phrase, “do not be afraid,” in the Bible.
It just felt so….impossible.
We’ve all felt afraid before. We’ve all been in minor situations that are fearful, like that giant spider in your kitchen (sorry for the visual), and we’ve all been in major situations that are fearful, like a scary diagnosis, job loss, or other uncertainties.
No more spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do with your kids and yourself during quarantine. This time at home can be filled with joy as you work through building a solid foundation for your family to operate under during this time. You can do this mama.
A kind yet stirring reminder that there are no winners under white supremacy's weight.
"We'll All Be Free serves as a kind yet stirring reminder that there are no winners under white supremacy's weight. Throughout these pages, you'll find Caroline to be a comforter, cheerleader, and coach for the journey ahead. Get ready to look backward to see the truth of our history, inward to unlearn the lies we believe, and forward to work towards a bright, free future."
- DANIELLE COKE, Illustrator & Activist
Marriage, Motherhood, & Home
There is something I must admit.
Something that has been weighing on my heart.
Something that I…fear I may have passed on to my daughter. Something negative. Like, maybe I’m not breaking generational patterns after all. And I’m fearful that it’s too late to rectify this.
Yesterday, I told my daughters:
“My parents didn’t work their butts off to set me up to pursue a career beyond my wildest dreams just to be a grown woman whose entire life revolves around making lunches, chauffeuring my kids to all of their activities, and spending hours every day begging my kids to listen to me.”
“It’s not fair that freedom was only for white men,” she responds with disgust. We’ve discussed at length the irony and cruelty of the then-American colonies fighting for freedom from so-called tyranny while simultaneously holding enslaved persons captive and continuing to embezzle Indigenous lands and obliterate their population.
I grieve for us because you and I never got to experience that euphoria. Instead, our connection was severed immediately upon my arrival. They ripped me from your arms and determined our destiny without consulting us. They second-guessed your abilities because of your disability. Our society, built on a supremacy of able-bodied whiteness, decided that your disability, your race, and your class were inferior and treated you as such. They stole your autonomy over your body and they stole my only need as a baby in the process: my maternal connection with the only mother my newborn self knew.
If you had asked me a week ago if I knew what a trad wife was, I would have stared at you with a dumbfounded look on my face. I had never heard that term before. Honestly? I still wish I didn’t know. I would love to travel back in time to about seven days ago when my ignorance of what a trad wife is was strong. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss. But, alas, I now know what a trad wife is. I can thank TikTok for that. Someone mentioned this trad wife movement on another social media app, and in an effort to cure my ignorance, and at the risk of screwing up my algorithm, I took to TikTok to teach me about this odd phenomenon of trad wife-ism.
It’s Women’s History Month — what honest progress can we say we’ve made in the lives of American women, especially American mothers? To answer this question, we must be honest about the direct correlation between white supremacy and womanhood and motherhood in the United States.
Anti-racism starts at home.
Let me repeat that: anti-racism starts at home.
Anti-racist education must be a part of the discipleship of our children. The world changers we are raising must be a part of the dismantling of white supremacy.
Okay, so you either feel excited to read this post, or you’re feeling like, “Oh, look. There’s that word ‘calling’ again. Yippee.,” in the most sarcastic tone in your head.
I used to be the latter. For various reasons.
As a child, I dealt with feelings of worthlessness and purposelessness. Due to varying degrees of trauma, I wrestled with feeling worthy of life at all, let alone a calling to fulfill. I struggled with knowing what it was I wanted to do with my life, what I was even good at or gifted in, and whether or not the things I wanted were the things that God wanted for me.
I used to get really frustrated when I heard (or read) the phrase, “do not be afraid,” in the Bible.
It just felt so….impossible.
We’ve all felt afraid before. We’ve all been in minor situations that are fearful, like that giant spider in your kitchen (sorry for the visual), and we’ve all been in major situations that are fearful, like a scary diagnosis, job loss, or other uncertainties.
I refuse to be silent.
I will be that Christian.
There is a long history of hatred, live burning, drowning, and torture of the LGBTQ+ community in the name of Jesus. In other words, the LGBTQ+ community has been (and continues to be) lynched by those who are supposed to be a light of love in this world.
Sound backward and absolutely disgusting to you? It should.